No! You could've helped yourself from responding, but you choose not to. Be stronger and more aware next time.
You're right, I could have just left. I stopped, thought about it and turned around. Stupid decision I won't make again.
Originally Posted by "BL42”
You're absolutely right - that is disrespectful. But what are you going to do about it? Complaining about disrespect or broken boundaries with no actions is weak.
I’m starting to notice a theme for myself of not taking any actions. I guess I wasn’t sure what actions I am supposed to be taking here because I was under the impression that I should be ignoring what she is doing.
Originally Posted by "BL42”
You asked her to let you know if she was cheating? This sounds super weak. Stand up for yourself.
Yes, super weak. Not sure why I said this. I was mad and just started saying things. Not my finest moment.
Originally Posted by "BL42”
You better be very careful about these exchanges. She's accusing you in written format about "come at me", "panic attack", "pinning me into a corner"...you wouldn't be the first to get tagged with a BS domestic abuse charge. Don't brush this off. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but you never know. You should consider starting to audio or video record interactions. Learn the laws in your state about recordings. Some are two party consent, others are one party consent.
Those were my thoughts as well as soon as I read her text. I didn’t pin her, touch her, anything. Just stood in the doorway while I was talking. I wasn’t aggressive in any way. I’ll be careful. Hopefully there aren’t any more exchanges like this to worry about.
Originally Posted by "BL42”
Honestly? That sounds ideal. DO NOT MOVE OUT. Let her do the moving. That may be in your best interest at this point.
I agree. I’m not going anywhere. And her leaving actually sounds nice to me. And I agree with you about D4 staying in the home. W did most of the leg work for us being foster parents and working with D4 when we first got her. She took care of most of the phone calls, meetings, physical therapy, home visits, etc. so I’m not sure how that’ll work out, but I bet an L can help me figure that out, hopefully this week.
Originally Posted by "BL42”
I agree with her there - honor her wishes and do not engage with her unless it's about the kids. Also, consult with one or more Ls ASAP.
With all the nonsense she spews there is always a little truth sprinkled in somewhere. And I've reached out to 2 L's that I will be calling back again today.
Originally Posted by "BL42”
She is your W. You don't want her as a friend.
I've told her already that I will not be her friend. It's all or nothing. I'm not sure she believes me or more likely I wasn’t firm enough about it. .
