I messed up this morning and could use a bit of advice.
This morning I was getting ready for work and W commented that I looked nice and asked if I was trying to impress a girl. I smirked and did not respond. She then said that I owe it to her to let her know if I’m talking with anyone because I called her out for texting AP in the car with the kids one day about 6 weeks ago and used his name. I asked how those two things were related (first mistake, should have walked away). She said something about him just being a friend and that she can do whatever she wants. I walked away, was about to leave for work, and couldn’t help but respond.
I walked back and said something along the lines of “you can do whatever you want, but texting your “friend” all day long every day, even while lying next to me in bed, is completely disrespectful.” I also said something about how the one thing I asked of her (when I was in the begging stage) was to let me know if there is anyone else because I couldn’t handle going through her cheating on me again. When she said she wasn’t doing anything wrong, I said something about how I knew she would probably lie about it anyway. It was said while she was in the bathroom so couldn’t walk away from it. She got upset and told me to walk away, which I did. I left for work and then had this text message exchange:
W: You have lost your mind, do not ever come at me like that again. You legit triggered a panic attack and I haven’t done anything wrong! It has been clear that we are still here for the kids and you say one thing one day then come at me like this another day! I literally can’t handle the mental abuse anymore. Pinning me into a corner and demanding information out of me is not the way to go.
Me: I had no intention of triggering a panic attack and I can understand how upsetting that is. I agree that approach was not acceptable.
W: I’m legit crying now before work, thank you.
Me: We do need to talk about a few things whenever you are comfortable with it (At the time I was thinking we need to talk about her leaving the house)
W: Nope, not it’s time to let everyone know who you really are. I owe you zero explanations of my life other than my kids. This is not your house, it is mine as well…the bed, the couches, everything. If you would like I can make things more difficult for our children and go stay with (girl friend who lives 30 minutes away) if that is easier but as far as owing you any explanations of anything in my life other than my children, do not communicate with me. You have just lost me 100% friend and all. Thank you for making me late for work.
I did not respond to this.
Her staying at her friend’s house was something she was planning on doing early on. I was actually happy she brought it up again. She went there one day and then came back because her friend was “too controlling,” This was also during my “begging” stage, so I didn’t want her to go at the time. But since W brought it up again, I think it is the best situation as long as she doesn’t bring D4. It’s too far from her school and doesn’t really make sense logistically. I am already taking care her all day anyway. The only thing I don’t do is take her to school, which I can make work. That seems like the best solution, having W go there.
I feel stupid for cracking. My mind had been getting more frustrated, but my actions haven’t reflected that until today, but it’s been building as noted in previous post. Any advice would be much appreciated.
