Boundary's after big D

[BL42]

Mach40,

You have three active threads so you might want to link the other two here and ask the moderators to lock the other two - it's just a little difficult to keep track of the various comments, that's all.

Speaking of...from the other thread:

Reconciliation was once in someones head, but never brought forward. She said if I had done one thing years ago, we would not be divorced. Again, communication.

I hope you don't believe this. If she really wanted to reconcile, she could've and would've. One mistake or miscommunication from years ago wasn't the make or break, so don't go blaming yourself like it was.

With all the recent posts/threads I get the sense you're spinning with the news ExW is dating someone. You've known for quite some time it was possible and perhaps probably, but that was an abstract idea and now it's a concrete real-world fact you have to address. I think it's completely normal to get upset, anger, spin, not want to see the new guy let alone share birthdays/holidays with him...even if he wasn't an AP. It's still fresh/raw for you. That's ok.

I thought it was appropriate of you to discuss holiday and birthday plans with your daughters and come to an understanding of split Thanksgivings and Christmas gatherings. Understand if they want to have a shared 6th birthday party for granddaughter, but don't think it's too much to ask them (or your ExW) to leave the new guy off that invite list, being fresh off the divorce and having only dated their mom for two weeks. If he's around in another year maybe it'll be easier at the 7th birthday party.