Apologies to Kind18, I know I'm supposed to be posting about my GAL, but it's been a rough day and I guess I just found the need to vent here. It's 430 on Sunday here, and I probably only got 2 hours of sleep. Yesterday was D18's birthday party. It was a pretty emotional day having my "baby" turn 18. The past few days I've been having a hard time shaking wanting to know what's going on with W, like where she is, is she actually staying late at work, is she with AP, etc. I did well for a week, but I feel that need-to-know creeping back.
Things were fine at the bday party, family from both sides there with 4 of W's close friends. None of our families know what's going on with us, all of W's friends do. If there is an A going on, I know at least 2 of her friends would know about it based on them being around AP with W at their favorite watering hole. I've known these friends for a long time and can't imagine coming into someone's house knowing about a possible A and just acting like nothing is wrong. If there is an A, it's like being cheated on by W in addition to people who I consider my friends. Have others dealt with situations where W's friends knew what was going on and kept you in the dark still? I'm sure most do, so how did you handle that?
Toward the end of the party, W was texting AP and the friend she goes drinking with every weekend for about an hour straight and basically ignoring the remaining people at the party. D18's BF even commented to D18 about it. The minute W's last friend left the house, she went to the bedroom and said she was getting ready to go out. I knew she was going to, despite the fact that it was her daughter's 18th bday but it still shocked me. D18 ended up guilting her into staying because she didn't get to spend much time with her on her bday or at her party. W reluctantly stayed home, sat on the couch texting for 2 hours, then went to sleep. Watching her relationship with her kids slowly deteriorate is heartbreaking.
And with the need-to-know, W still texts AP non-stop in front of me, still sleeps with her phone, still wanders outside to have phone calls with a girl friend, etc. I got good at laughing it off, but it's getting harder each day. This week was hard for GAL just based on how much stuff is going on. Today I have to help D18 with school stuff and college applications on 2 hours sleep, so today is probably shot too. Next weekend I know I'll be doing stuff so maybe that will help clear my head, but it's been a rough few days. Feeling like a doormat is no fun and I hate that I'm starting to debate whether any of this is worth it. I know there's peaks and valleys to this stuff so hopefully I can shake it off this week. Posting here seems to help.
