I'm back!! Was here years ago trying to save my marriage. Wasn't successful, but eventually met a wonderful girl. I'm currently 45 with 3 adult children, she's 36 and never been married/no kids. We had the kids discussion early on and were on different pages, but continued dating (I know, I know). We maintained a 6 yr long distance relationship (8hrs away) and eventually became engaged. During the R, we usually avoided the kid talk. At one point, she said she was OK with not having kids and I probably heard what I wanted, so we didn't discuss it much afterwards. Finally, maybe 1-2 yrs ago, she told me she had been lying to herself and needed to have kids.
We stayed together (I know, I know) because neither one of us could break it off. End of May this year, I finally told her we needed to talk. Ended up breaking things off as I just couldn't imagine 'starting over' with babies. She took it harder than me- I think because I had been processing the breakup for a while. We continued to talk through the end of June, then communication stopped. I reached out late July because I missed her and we talked a time or 2. A couple weeks later, I text her wishing her good luck on her first day of school (teacher). Then about 2-3 weeks later I called her and we talked over a couple of days. Last week, I called her and told her I wanted to have kids with her. She took a few days to process, then called me earlier this week saying the answer was no. She still deeply loves me, but thinks I'm making the decision based on loneliness (kids left for college) and why didn't I feel this way years, even mos ago. I've set her back emotionally as she had tried to move on.
I'm not here for feedback on whether my intentions are true or just to get her back. I've put months of thought on what I want for my future, talked to friends/parents, prayed, etc. I want to be with her and I want to start a family with her. The way I feel for her is different than I ever felt for my ex wife. So whether you agree or disagree with my motives, I'm just looking for advice on how to 'win' her back. I understand that it's not likely and I'll need to move on, but I refuse not to fight for love. I know going silent is the most likely approach but I feel this situation is different than the typical busting stories because we both acknowldge that we still deeply love each other and we're 8hrs away. Thoughts??
