How do I talk to myself? Not in a very nice way. I beat myself up. I say things to myself, like once again I am wrong, I'm no good. I am hard on myself. We got yelled at a lot as kids when we were wrong.
Wolf, does coming to this subforum feed your desire to beat yourself up?
You've received constructive criticism here about improving your relationship, but also unconstructive criticism harping on how you dated too soon after marriage and got her pregnant. People who are hard on themselves often seek out, hear, and trust voices that are hard on them, that shame them. If you want to move away from self-flagellation to a stronger Wolfman, consider putting more focus on voices that don't do that, whether here or elsewhere, as you change your own voice.
As for improving your relationship, the next steps are obvious--put regular effort into listening, respecting, and showing love for her. You have a successful gym habit. Like me, you work-out 3-5x/week, and you don't see results every day. Maybe you setup your environment for success (e.g., gym bag in the car). Maybe you log your cardio vs. strength activities to ensure they happen and you're on-track. Maybe you have support like a trainer, gym partner, class, or support group. What do you do to support your gym activities? What will you do to support your listening/respecting/loving activities? I'm assuming salvaging your relationship is at least as important to you as your gym routine and deserves as much care and effort.
Begin writing about your journey to fill her love bank!
