The problem is you see love as transactional.

You think it’s like making a deposit at the bank, then a few hours later you suddenly want to go and make a withdrawal.

Your real motivation for engaging with her love language appears to get her to reciprocate and give you what you want.

Love isn’t a series a transactions.

You should want to engage her love language for no reason other than knowing it makes her happy, without an expectation hiding in the shadows.

If you’re not happy in the relationship - then tell her and persist with therapy, or if you’ve lost interest, then leave.

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Unless she has an epiphany I don’t see this getting better.

Sounds like more than one person needs to have an epiphany.