BL42 - I agree that her staying out late and coming home in the morning is completely unacceptable. It has been going on since I left for work in June and D17 had to play mom for D4. It's been almost every Saturday since I got home. My understanding is that I'm supposed to just say "I hope you have fun" and give her that time and space and basically ignore it. It has gotten easier to do that each week as it has lately turned less into anger and more into feeling sorry that her life has resorted to lying in bed, playing on her phone, closing out bars and sleeping on couches. We are almost 40!
My best guess as to the sitch with possible AP is that something physical happened between them while I was gone (That was when W was at her craziest behavior) and that they've been in an EA since then with a possible visit here and there. I have seen some of her text messages while she was texting next to me, and it seems like the types of convos you have at the beginning of a relationship. She is all of a sudden interested in football, particularly the Bengals (AP's favorite team apparently) after having 0 interest her entire life. I have proof she was honest with some of the times she was at her friend's houses, including when I drove by, and she doesn't have a ton of other time that's unaccounted for as she usually just stays in bed on her phone at home. But I would be an idiot to assume she’s just hanging out with friends. I’ll just keep preparing for the worst and make sure I’m ready to enforce my boundary if I find out it has been crossed.
Funny side note, yesterday D4 out of the blue told W "Dad hates all of your friends." She overheard a phone conversation I had with my sister where I must have said that. W asked her to explain and she adamantly doubled down. W believed her, even though I tried to deflect and talk my way out of it, but oh well. She didn't really get mad, but did immediately start texting to I presume the friends assisting her self-destruction. I gotta watch what I say around her lol.
Originally Posted by BL42
I lived through a PA during IHS and spied and knew what was happening as it developed in real time and couldn't stop it. It was awful. But it's over now and I'm much better two years later.
That is rough to hear man. I can’t even imagine. Maybe I’m lucky in that my PA boundary is a result of already having gone through this and telling myself never again. Easier to say than do, but I respect myself and deserve more than that. Did you ever confront your W about it or just sit back and wait for her to change?
