Living with a WAW

[BL42]

DW17,

Haven't gotten a chance to read & comment on your thread until now, but wanted to lend my support.

As SteveLW & Kind18 said, you asking to hold off on MC until after your business was absolutely not the issue. Anyone who can't wait a few weeks after two decades is not committed to working on things regardless. So don't beat yourself up over a reasonable logistic request.

It’s really important to know that whatever you do, you’re in the wrong. You could be the best husband, person and father in the world - and she would still blame you for everything.

Beg - she’ll tell you you’re weak. Walk away - she’ll tell everyone you didn’t try. Agree with her on everything, you’re just trying to trick her into coming back. Disagree with her on everything, and you’re an [censored] and that is why she has to leave.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU ARE WRONG, SHE IS RIGHT AND SHE WILL SEEK VALIDATION FROM EVERYONE THAT THIS IS YOUR FAULT. You have to learn to be okay with that.

^^^THIS!!!

Second, for various reasons I want to split up our bank accounts. We honestly should have done this years ago

First off I would speak to a lawyer regarding protecting yourself from major purposes. Secondly I would split the bills based on a percentage of money made.

I plan on speaking to a lawyer in a few weeks once our schedules cool off a bit. Work and home are pretty busy, but I will definitely reach out to schedule an appt.

Don't wait on the lawyer. Do it NOW. Like tomorrow. Or at least this week. Depends on your jurisdiction, but there's a good chance it doesn't matter how you section off the finances if you're still married and don't have a separation agreement...it's marital money. If you're concerned about finances and her blowing money on new clothes, make up, nail appointments, personal trainers...etc. to impress OM. Protect yourself!

At one point she even said "Too bad you don't realize you're getting custody papers soon and only getting 2 days a week."

told me to stay away from her kids and said she'd take me for everything I have

LOL! What a quote. Idol, powerless threats she's making! She WILL NOT get the kids for 5 of 7 days a week, and she WILL NOT take all of your money. There's her BS, and then there's the law. This is why you should consult a lawyer...when she makes these ridiculous claims you'll know where you really stand and it'll empower you.

Not responding to the “you’ll get two days custody” is what you must do. Just walk out with an aloof smile on your face. Never, EVER take her bait.

Wow. I’m gobsmacked. You absolutely nailed it.

I agree with Kind18...cool, confident, wry smile...you're the one who has the knowledge and it's powerful. You did well on the response to custody and financial threats, and you stood strong on the marital bed. Way to have a backbone! Way to stand up for yourself!

W has a bunch of childhood trauma

Can you be more specific about your W's trauma?