A situation just came up that I'm curious if I handled correctly. W has known that I've had plans to pick up D4 and our previous foster daughter (I'll just call her D6 from now on) from school today and take them to the park. W was also aware that I am going to D17's BF's football game tonight. She keeps asking who I'm going with and why, but I have been vague, stating "I'm not exactly sure." Anyway, on the way to the park W sent me a text asking if we should skip the park and get Halloween costumes and go to the beach (about 40 min away) for the sunset. I ignored the text so she called right when we got to the park saying those were the plans. She also got mad about my poor communication. I said I'd be willing to do the costumes and assumed she remembered I was going to the game. When we got home, she said we'd go to the beach first, then get costumes after, or tomorrow. I reminded her that I was going to the FB game and she got upset saying I wasn't going to get to spend time with the kids and questioning why I was going to the game again. At one point she even said "Too bad you don't realize you're getting custody papers soon and only getting 2 days a week." I'm certain she's done nothing to legally push for anything, so I'll assume she's just venting. Anyway, I stood my ground and said I'd be willing to go get Halloween costumes, but I already had plans later. She basically stormed out of the house with the kids, trying to make me feel guilty or feel like a bad dad, despite the fact that I have spent so much time with the kids the past 2 months that their closeness with me makes W say that I'm "stealing" them from her. I didn't really validate her anger, I responded calmly and tried to just not say much. Was this the correct way to handle it? She knew my plans all week and tried changing them last minute. I'm not sure if she is just trying to get me to not go to the game or she just wanted to go to the beach but didn't want to drive, or didn't want to actually watch the kids at the beach, but wanted to go. These are all common for her and it's likely all of the above. It's weird for me to not change my plans in order to spend time with the kids or W. I'd honestly have rather gone to the beach, but that seems counter to what I've been learning and these types of situations come up often enough that I know I'll need a good game plan to handle them.
