Mach, you said something a while back comparing a person going through a MLC to trying on a bunch of different outfits and leaving discarded clothes lying around the floor of a room. That analogy describes my W almost to a T - so many ideas of things she's going to do or try that never come to pass, or things she gets into and loses interest in.
Originally Posted by Mach1
What if that is really what is happening ??
What then ?
Is that your dealbreaker ??
Can you walk away with zero regrets ??
I'm personally going to give it until next June/July-ish before I walk. If you remember, my situation has been marked by neither W nor I preferring to leave the residence. But year, I'll have to be out next summer if there's no traction.
Originally Posted by Mach1
What does working it out mean to you ??
This one's not too tough for me - we do things as a couple again; W stops camping out on her phone half the night & wears her wedding ring again...it feels like an emotional connection exists again. I am doing / plan to do my part in the restoration of the relationship.
Originally Posted by Mach1
There is a frustration that essentially, we can't have "our way", and things just won't go back to normal
I would say this is true..."where is my reward for my efforts?"
Originally Posted by Mach1
It's who you are when sickness invades you...
I feel like if I frame this as how I react to the MLC and my W as a sometimes alien being, it makes it easier to convince myself I have a job to do and a role to play. Keeping that at the forefront of my mind is another thing.
Originally Posted by Mach1
"I wish you would just go find someone to make you happy "
When that happens, depending on your answer to the above, YOU essentially, let her off the hook...
You relieve every ounce of her remorse, guilt, and you justify her excuse for wanting out.....
You ready to do that ?
I don't think that you are....
It's been tempting here and there to use a line like that. I see how it would be detrimental when you put it that way. My inclination would be to use the line as "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me." I've seen versions of that "script" here on the DB forums.
I appreciate your thoughts and will try (for my own sake) to forge ahead one day at a time.
