Wolfman moving forward 3

[Wolfman]

Thank you all for your help. I am taking a lot of what everyone said into consideration.
First, The Love Language. A long time ago we took a Love Language questionaire, I went back to it. We did it about a year and a half ago. Not surprisingly, touch was last on her list. Acts of service was 1 and quality time was 2. With that in mind, I have been really trying to help her around the house and clean and take care of the baby without her asking. She has said I am a big help. I just want to say to all of you its really hard. I want physical touch so much, that is my love language. I understand I do these acts of service not because I am looking for something in return but to fill her love tank. At the same time I feel like my love tank is depleting.

I have also decided not to really speak about how I feel to her. I will tell you why. It seems like when I do it usually starts an argument. I just put a smile on and go on. You might be thinking I need to express myself to her, or I am going to "explode". The thing is, I have tried to explain to her from a place of love how I feel, she just gets defensive and makes excuses why she isnt doing certain things. We get nowhere. In the last few weeks things have been mostly peaceful but my resentment is starting to grow. There is literally no physical touch anymore, none. I can't remember the last time she came over to me and gave me a kiss, or even just hugged me. I know I am supposed to fill her love tank with no expectations, but what do I do? I tried speaking to her numerous times and got nowhere? I give up on that.

According to Michele:
Furthermore, there is an unspoken and often unconscious expectation that the higher desire spouse must accept the no-sex verdict, not complain about it and remain monogamous. After decades of working with couples, I can attest that this is an unfair and unworkable arrangement.

AS I was typing this, I realized we just started therapy together. I will bring it up at therapy. Not right away but when the time is right. The first session went well, I feel like she will be able to help us. We established we need to work on our communication and gave us some strategies how to handle our conversations. Hopefully she will also help us with the $ex part. Because I am "starving".