Stuck in limbo III

[BL42]

Doug54,

Have many on these forums ever felt like pulling the plug on their own situation?

It seems somewhat common from reading this forum for folks to waiver on that.

I dunno, I'm 99 percent sure W is grappling with a MLC (and supposedly you can't rush those) but sometimes I feel like I'm wasting away the part of my life that misses female companionship.

It's coming up on a year you discovered the EA? You're likely going to have to steel your resolve and be a lot more patient if you want things to work out in your marriage.

To be sure, W and I still live together, still talk every day (though not what I would necessarily call substantially), still sleep together. But we haven't done anything that could be called a date in ages. Not that I'm bringing that subject up.

I can't recall your status. Sounds like limbo? Is she talking about separation / D? Any positive signs?

Am I supposed to wait around forever?

Only you can answer that. If you're resolved to save your marriage you're going to have to be extremely patient.

She also inhales her phone every night from like 9-11 under the guise of "schoolwork." Yeah there's some computer work in that category that's legitimate, but there's also ample time and opportunity to be texting a dude.

Insistent texting and phone hiding is probably the #1 sign of an affair these days. She is almost certainly texting the guy you discovered her EA with...or someone new. I would bet my paycheck on it. My ExW would text non-stop when we were in the same room and she'd tell me it was her girlfriend. She'd text in bed while "putting my son to sleep". She'd text in the bathroom for way longer than you should need the bathroom. She was even texting for his advice while we were both in the bathroom when then-S4 had a medical thing going on...etc, etc. It's way more obvious than thy realize - or they simply don't care - and your gut here is almost certainly correct.

It's not that I haven't been trying to keep up with GAL, just sort of questioning how long one trudges on.

"It's a marathon, not a sprint." LBSs (myself included) grossly underestimate the realistic timeline on these things initially.

To be clear, I haven't brought up any relationship discussions or fallen off the train of DB techniques. Things aren't bad in the house aside from being a little "boring" if you don't count the whims of three rambunctious boys.

Good.

LH, maybe I should get myself into an intoxicating EA like you had to maybe match whatever W had or has going on.

Hopefully you're kidding. That is a terrible idea, and would certainly not help your marriage.