Samoy, I've caught up and am wondering how you're doing?

I will add onto BL's wise words about MLC. I wanted to know where my husband was in him MLC because I was trying to figure out how long it would take for him to snap out of it and come home.

Cheeseless tunnel.

There are a couple of issues with that line of thinking:

1. Trying to track the MLCr's progress is impossible. While every MLCr seems to follow a similar pattern, the truth is each one of them has a different reason for their crisis, and each will travel their path in their own time. It's truly different for each person, so it's impossible to know how long any of it will last.

2. The more we focus on the MLCr, the less time and energy we have to do the ONE major thing which could get their attention: GAL of our own.

3. GAL for ourselves is vital to our mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing, especially while the MLCr is off in MLC land. GAL keeps us grounded, takes us out of the MLCr's chaos, gives us PEACE so we can sleep at night, to name a few things.

What I've learned is there's the hurt inflicted upon us by our spouse, then there's the steps we take to pick up where our spouse left off so we can inflict a whole lotta more pain upon ourselves. Don't do that.

xoxoxo

Last edited by bttrfly; 09/20/22 06:56 PM.
M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver