You are openly admitting that because she got dumped, she’s testing the waters with you. You seem like a great guy Peter. Do you want to be her backup plan? Her sloppy seconds? Don’t you deserve an amazing, committed and trustworthy partner?
When my ex got dumped by her AP and started being nice, I’d already realised what a good person I was and that I deserved much more than what a cheating, lazy, angry woman could ever offer. I ignored her and kept living my own awesome life.
I think for you to consider reconciling at any point in the future, she’d have to fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness and own all of her poor behaviour. Until this happens, I think you should just ignore her completely and GAL like a boss. Don’t dip your toe in to test the waters, don’t entertain her angry outbursts, or have any discussions at all.
This is how the cycle works - she says she wants to talk, you talk and have an argument where she says it’s all your fault, she thinks “I’ve still got him on the hook”, and so she’ll head off and start looking for OM2. She has zero motivation at this point to get her sh*t together because you’re still there.
You need to break this cycle. The only way to do that is to stop interacting, stop discussing, stop showing interest, and build your own new life FOR YOU. Every time you have a discussion/talk/argument - she wins.
Accept that it’s done, start again and rebuild yourself new. If she wakes up and wants for be a part of it - maybe in a few years, when she proves herself worthy - maybe.
But if she doesn’t (which is most likely) you’re already well down the road to your new life and haven’t wasted years waiting for her to wake up.
I honestly think you’re worth so much more than either you or her realise.
