LH, I can't help but wonder if the difference in our situations (other than that mine is still evolving and yours played out years ago) is that my W may well not have formally made up her mind to bolt - yet, but may still be EA'ing...
If she is still EAing zero percent chance she recommits to the marriage.
I'm no psychologist, but there are a lot of resources online which will address the differences between men and women who are having affairs and potentially breaking up their marriages. One major one seems to be while men worry more about the physical (E.g., "Phew! At least they haven't' slept together yet."), while women are much more concerned about the emotional. Not always obviously, but in the majority of EAs the woman is much likely to be "done" with the relationship/marriage than a man in a PA. Again, I'm not an authority but that's when I've read quite a bit online and anecdotally that seems how it plays out for the most part on this board.
Bottom line...don't take the EA light and think you're in the clear because "at least it might not be a PA".
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
