So Doug I have hindsight on my side so it is easy for me to say now. Your W should be the one trying to win you back but that is unlikely to happen anytime soon. If you want to save the marriage and you guys continue to live together than there is likely to be cake eating. I let my exw cake eat when it benefited the kids or I was getting something out of it. By I was resigned to the fact that I was getting divorced and nothing was going to stop it.
LH, I can't help but wonder if the difference in our situations (other than that mine is still evolving and yours played out years ago) is that my W may well not have formally made up her mind to bolt - yet, but may still be EA'ing...whereas your W had her mind made up but wasn't in an affair at that point. With much cake being eaten all around.
