Been a little while since I posted. I was given a few more responsibilities at work (fortunately a commensurate pay bump as well) and have been busy AF. A nice measuring stick for me is that work was fairly chill last spring when my home situation was spiraling, but I could barely get stuff done with the wheels turning in my head. Now, I feel much more attuned to job duties...I guess mainly a passage of time thing with my situation.
So...about that. Things have mostly gone well at home since my last post. I'm almost tempted to repeat my sentiments about W softening except that I'm not a mind-reader, and of course it's a marathon and not a sprint. The whole "us sleeping together in the same bed might be the next domino to fall" thing never materialized. We've definitely talked more around the house and I want to say she's texted more as well.
Only chink in the armor are some thoughts I've had about not knowing what's going on and wondering if trust can be rebuilt. LH, I know you wrote "Who gives a fuch what W is up to - live your best life." Should I not be concerned how much cake-eating might be going on while I've dropped the rope? I don't say that from a place of trying to control W, but to not get taken advantage of. I do feel like if W somehow said she'd secured a place to live and was leaving tomorrow, I'd be ok staying in the house with the kids. I certainly wouldn't have typed that 4 months ago.
To that point, I re-read "Carol's" situation in DR a few times, mainly the part about how Carol thought her husband should be the one trying to win her back, not the other way around. I know in my case, W had at a minimum an EA with (I suspect) someone from her past, and I'm not positive if we're talking past or present (ongoing) tense. So, again...I've had some nagging thoughts about "what am I trying to save here"?
Can anyone relate to this in their own situation?
So Doug I have hindsight on my side so it is easy for me to say now. Your W should be the one trying to win you back but that is unlikely to happen anytime soon. If you want to save the marriage and you guys live continue to live together than there is likely to be cake eating. I let my exw cake eat when it benefited the kids or I was getting something out of it. By I was resigned to the fact that I was getting divorced and nothing was going to stop it.
