Stuck in limbo III

[BL42]

Doug54,

I was given a few more responsibilities at work (fortunately a commensurate pay bump as well) and have been busy AF.

Congrats on the raise!

A nice measuring stick for me is that work was fairly chill last spring when my home situation was spiraling, but I could barely get stuff done with the wheels turning in my head. Now, I feel much more attuned to job duties...I guess mainly a passage of time thing with my situation.

That does show progress. Plus I think it works both ways and feeds on itself really - the more you settle out of the spiral the better you can perform at work, and the more you're able to focus on work the less you're thinking about your sitch and the better and more confident you feel from the validation of your work performance.

So...about that. Things have mostly gone well at home since my last post. I'm almost tempted to repeat my sentiments about W softening except that I'm not a mind-reader, and of course it's a marathon and not a sprint. The whole "us sleeping together in the same bed might be the next domino to fall" thing never materialized. We've definitely talked more around the house and I want to say she's texted more as well.

Softening and positive communicates are a good thing. Just keep focusing on improving yourself. Sounds like work is going well. How about personal? Are you meeting up with other guys, doing any activities, hitting the gym, upgrading the wardrobe, reading relationship/attraction materials?

Only chink in the armor are some thoughts I've had about not knowing what's going on and wondering if trust can be rebuilt.

Totally understandable. It's hard, but do your best to focus on yourself and not worry about what she's doing - you can cross that bridge if you come to it.

LH, I know you wrote "Who gives a fuch what W is up to - live your best life." Should I not be concerned how much cake-eating might be going on while I've dropped the rope? I don't say that from a place of trying to control W, but to not get taken advantage of.

Are you living your best life? What are you doing to live your best life?

Dropping the rope means knowing you'll be fine and have a great life regardless of what she decides. That you're not trying to control her decisions at all and are totally open to her deciding so she doesn't feel pressured.

I do feel like if W somehow said she'd secured a place to live and was leaving tomorrow, I'd be ok staying in the house with the kids. I certainly wouldn't have typed that 4 months ago.

Don't be surprised if you spin if that happens. It can come in waves / be a rollercoaster and is common for someone to feel they're stronger but then take a dip when something hits them.