WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1 Year Divorced (7)

[BL42]

Ginger1,

Wow! 2 weeks! That must have been a lot fun, and exhausting, lol.

It was incredible...and definitely exhausting. A coworker said to me "the beach, that sounds so relaxing!" LOL!!!

BTW, when my daughter was 3 it was meltdown city. Girls are a lot, lol. Long days, son water, playtime all the time, it gets hard to transition to having to listen when they have to listen.

Thanks for that. It's so difficult to deal with at times. I just try to be loving but strong. Hug her and reassure her but also don't give in to every demand just because she's melting down. I hope I'm doing what's best for her.

I see alot of people couples up too. Is it common to be a single parent with young kids? No. So you notice it more when you see young kids around. Sounds like you did fantastic though.

Thanks! I appreciate your words.

So, I have one question for you: Taylor ham or pork roll?

Hmmm...so tempted to answer that with a question of my own! But still keeping my specifics ambiguous. I see a lot of you here interact IRL. Maybe soon...

bttrfly,

The vacation you described will be locked into your kids' memories for a lifetime. Good stuff, BL. Good, good stuff!

Thanks! Fun times and great memories. That's what it's all about, right?

Yeah, I remember feeling that way at son's baseball and hockey games post BD/D. It was especially hard when I compared it to pre-BD life. I found it much better to just focus on the activity at hand and stay strictly in the moment.

That's part of the reason I've been volunteering to coach son's sports. The main reason is enjoying the shared experience with him and keeping even more of an "off week" presence (plus it really is fun), but it also keep's me engaged in the event and not standing on the sidelines next to ExW. I already here her laughing loud and chatting it up from the field. Don't need to be closer to that.

I cannot imagine what it feels like to have an interloper in the home you created for your family.

It's awful. I hate it. That's probably the hardest part of this whole situation...seeing another man - a man who was with my wife while we were married - interact and have influence on my kids.

I remember exh missing his scheduled time with son, so I'd end up with three weeks in a row - yay! - then then emptiness when exh came back and got the boy.

I think there is a bit of a high and a low. A bit like how a drug addiction is described. The high of being so busy with the kids on vacation and having so much fun for two weeks, and then...crash in an empty quiet house.

The way I coped was to volunteer at a local wildlife educational facility that had long interested me. I would come home so exhausted, yet exhilarated from interacting with the animals that I only had energy to shower, have dinner and go to sleep. It was my way of coping.

I volunteered at a soup kitchen on Christmas last year to get my mind off missing the Holiday with the kids. Definitely GAL is key whether it's hitting the gym, or being social, or volunteering.

Keep us posted on meetups in the wild. You know how I feel about OLD.

Time will tell! LOL. A half dozen friends have floated "set ups" over the past year but nothing's come to fruition yet. There are two women hovering a bit on social media lately DM'ing me about posts of the kids - I get the distinct sense they're interested - but not sure I am. I should probably just keep it light and go on some casual dates, but I have a tendency to look for those I see as having more serious potential.

You're a great father BL ... do the kids play soccer in the fall?

Thanks bttrfly! I really do appreciate the kind words. This is S7's third year playing...and my third year coaching! He plays Fall/Winter/Spring and I coach his baseball team in Spring too. His first Fall in soccer they asked for any parents willing to help out so I volunteered as a way to be more present in his life...and have loved it. He even asks me (without prompting) at the end of the season if I'm going to coach next year! That will likely end at some point, so I'm taking advantage of it while it lasts.