WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1 Year Divorced (7)

[BL42]

Just returned from a fantastic two week vacation down the shore with the kiddos. Idyllic weather 75-80 and sunny almost every day, and we did it all...beach, ocean, boardwalk, mini-golf, arcade, dolphin boat cruise, zoo, water ice & ice cream...etc. It was exhausting taking two young kids to the beach, but also a blast and perfect bonding experiences. Making wonderful memories and traditions with them.

The kids are embracing the ocean and I was loving being in there with them. D3 knows no fear and was jumping over waves her height and diving under waves twice her height, and swimming probably deeper than she should in the ocean. S7 mastered the boogie board this year and was riding waves all day, even with some boys his age we met there. He also had some cool moments seeing his favorite animal in person for the first time at the zoo, hitting a hole-in-one on the trick 18th hole at the mini-golf place which set off alarms and he won a special token/free game, and popping a balloon with every single dart to win a large stuffy.

D3 did have a few meltdowns. She seems to spin emotionally and can't settle down. So hard to know whether it's regular 3-4yo stuff (but it seems extreme) or whether the D and all the associated back and forth is a big factor.

Also, I did notice lots of other families there vacationing at our beach spot who all seemed to be coupled up - not sure there are any other single parents there - it would sure be nice to have a partner to share in the experience and lighten the load. But out of my control. I also thought back to times when ExW & I were on the same beach with then S4 / D1, even naming D there on a walk before she was born. That seems like ages ago now due to everything that has transpired, but really wasn't all that long ago. But a few occasions of sadness didn't soil the trip which was great overall.

Saturday when I dropped the kids off at ExW's, OM2 was out in the yard working on the house. It still riles me up to see him around. I know it shouldn't, but I'm just not there yet, and I drove away spinning a bit emotionally. Also that night after the buzz/high of the two week vacation activities the quiet and loneliness of my house felt like a bit of a low and none of my friends were available to hang out so that got me a bit down.

However, Sunday I met my buddy and his wife and some friends of theirs at a local music fest with with tons of bands in various locations in a neighborhood which was a lot of fun. I saw random neighbors, co-workers, and friends, and did a good bit of socializing. That broke my funk from the night before. What I thought would be a 2-3 hour event turned into 6-7 with me feeling reinvigorated. Good times.

He also mentioned he's planning to set me up with a friend's SIL is a doctor and single mom with a 4-5yo daughter who lives in town and looked pretty cute from the picture. So that would be cool. Though I've heard about a half dozen set ups in the past year and none of them have come to fruition so...time will tell if anything comes of it. I deleted all my OLD profiles 2-3 months ago because it wasn't serving me well and I'm glad for the break there, but at some point may start anew.

Anyway, back to the grind at work today and bracing for the school year and Fall sports. As always, loving my kiddos and making them my main focus...