Well, now Spa Guy has sent me one of his love poems. (For a guy without a college education, he's quite brilliant, well-read and good at many things, including poetry). I can't tell if this is a new one, or the one he sent me many years ago, which I have somewhere in my keepsakes I think. Not necessarily one written about me, although I never know with him.
I know it means he's missing me and having fond feelings about me. That's nice to know.
For background - he's a SUPER Love Avoidant, if there is such a category. I think he lived with one woman one time in his adult life and it ended quickly with someone throwing the other person's belongings off the balcony! But as my BFF once said to me "Love Avoidants need love too" and I never doubted that his affection for me was sincere, even if he did his best to keep me at an extreme arms length.
Some might view him as a "player" but he's actually a guy with way too tender a heart. Getting too close to someone means he could lose them - and he's had some terrible traumatic losses in his life. So he manages to get his needs for intimacy and connection met with multiple non-monogamous "friends with benefits" type relationships.
I know it sounds like I'm making excuses for him, but on the weekends I did visit him, he was as attentive, open, kind, and interested in me as any lover could be. Just too terrified of hurting or being hurt to go any further than that. And like I've said, since he is self-aware and was clear from the start, he never hurt my feelings.
In a way, it's reassuring that he still sounds the same - after worrying about him over this long ghosting period, I feel reassured now that he's not fundamentally changed in any bad way.
