Why can’t you love yourself, G? Different from being “in love” with yourself, which sounds narcissistic - but loving yourself, cherishing that wounded inner child of yours, patting yourself on the back for your bravery, your kindness, your success as a parent despite poor parenting yourself, your loving nature. Those are all things to love about yourself!
And about your “junk in the trunk” - seriously, you need to date more men of color!!!!!