That amazing person was the love of my life. He just may not have been real, or honest, and may be a covert narcissist. A facade.
He was and is real. Humans are complicated. I do not think it was ever his intention to trip snd fall away from you. What you have now does not negate what was.It took me a long time to understand what I had, was real and it wasn't wasted time. The reason it hurts so much, is because it was real. Your mame suggests you may have heard this before
I never have been indifferent nor do I want to be, now. Make no mistake, I WORKED my a$$ off towards that end (indifference) and for me, the lack of feeling towards him and everything about "us" was ultimately what fed the thoughts of "wasn't real" etc. and made everything feel like it was a mistake. It was hard and painful to say goodbye to the man I married, to us and to that part of me ^^^ like the Dude said. it's pretty empowering. And remember to be kind to yourself regardless of where all of this takes you.
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How many LBS get finally to indifference only to have their Xs suddenly come back around? I fear that. I fear that as soon as I reach indifference and feel it to my core, he will play games with me and throw me backwards.
