Stuck in limbo III

[Doug54]

Yep Doug I am sure you dropped the ball mostly because you didn't know what you didn't know. How many LL experts are going to be available and hot to trot for a middle age woman with 5 kids? .0001% maybe?

Not bad. I LOL'd.

Doug you really need to stop reiterated you don't want a divorce. She knows it. For you to change turn this around she needs to wonder where you stand.

I agree w/LH. She knows where you stand. Stop saying it. If anything better she wonder if you've changed your mind.

Ok, so we'd gone two weeks in between sessions and the counselor basically started by asking each of us where we stood; if anything had changed. I'd more or less gone into the first session with guns blazing, saying we were both on the same page as wanting D. So the second & third session I responded to the counselor's question by saying I wanted to try to work things through. I didn't intend to paint a picture that I was begging or anything.

So what is your plan? Fight? Throw in towel?

I definitely want to stay together. No bridges have been burned thus far. Many on this board have said a version of "if your spouse is coming around to you, you'll know in no uncertain terms." So, I guess I'll hope that happens while focusing on Doug. If it doesn't happen with W, then it doesn't happen.

Great! You doing this for you or show?

I definitely would not volunteer with a hospice organization for "show." I'm hoping to help and it certainly can't hurt my own perspective of things, and life.

Turn in what way? If it's MLC this will play out for many years. Like 5-7 years minimum.

Don't bet on things turning on a dime. Sounds to me like she's serious but nervous about logistics and consequences with the kids on pulling the plug. Keep working on detachment.

No it fecking won't. In statistical terms the odds that this will turn on a dime in neglible. It is a marathon, not a sprint.

Ok, so everyone lost me here, or more likely it was my fault for poor phrasing. I meant that things have been quite decent between me and W lately, but that it could turn on a dime. In other words, things could go from sunny to dark due to MLC, warwardness, what have you. I'm trying to take her change in demeanor and "softening" with a grain of salt. It is making it a little more difficult to detach, though, as I told my IC. It's like LH said, 100 percent detachment would mean you're a sociopath.

Sounds like you're doing well overall. Remember to keep improving yourself...keep reading, working out, becoming more attractive, GAL...etc.

Thanks, BL. This board has helped a *lot*.