Well I can only speak me for myself but when it gets too deep for me too fast I want to bail. There is plenty of time for that later on. In the beginning I want it light and fun. Hangout, have fun and hook up.
I would definitely stay away from married men on Tinder. There is absolutely zero possibility it will end well.
Well I can only speak me for myself but when it gets too deep for me too fast I want to bail. There is plenty of time for that later on. In the beginning I want it light and fun. Hangout, have fun and hook up.
I would definitely stay away from married men on Tinder. There is absolutely zero possibility it will end well.
Trust me, it wasn’t me driving things forward. I can’t even say they went forward. We just really got to know eachother.
If he wasn’t where he was in his life, he wouldn’t bail.
But I have zero attraction with no depth for an extended period of time. That makes me want to bail.
We are all a little different. Some men like you want to bail when you you get to know eachother in a more personal level beyond HHH. Others don’t . Some women want to bail when it’s just HHH with no depth. Others don’t. There is no hard and fast rule with that. People are different
And having depth and vulnerability doesn’t mean it isn’t light and fun too. We had a whole lot of fun. And we could easily make eachother laugh and talk about the surface stuff. Both were present.
This is all I find in the dating pool. And I should probably refrain
I have a theory about this.
Given how Western society generally regards "separated" as more or less the same as "divorced", a lot of the people who are interested in a long term relationship can - and presumably do - jump right into one pretty quickly. So that winnows out the keen and the easily matched up with presumably like-minded individuals at a point in their recovery where "the rules" say to stay away.
From my reading elsewhere the "less keen" - and I'll toss myself into that category - may have dabbled in OLD off and on but are generally absent from that particular pool. So many of the fully divorced, "done the work" sort of people are living their lives outside of the pond.
So that leaves the ones who are in it for some quick booty, the ones who have some sort of fundamental flaw, along with the abandoned profiles, the scammers and the robots. Finding someone who took the time after their last relationship ended, waited for the divorce to sort itself out which can literally take years, and then consider putting themselves "out there" in OLD, while already having proven to themselves that they can get along perfectly fine on their own are the rare tosheroon in the muck at the bottom of the pond.
Just my 2 cents.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Gosh, everyone has such a negative view of OLD. But if we’re on there, other people like us must be too?
I mean, if OLD isn’t working for you, you should try something else. It doesn’t work for everyone. Or use a site that has more detailed profiles and isn’t known for hookups like Tinder .
None of my OLD dates were recently divorced or separated. That eliminated those issues, but did lead to me dating some Love Avoidant types. Honestly, men who were happy being married are highly likely to pair up again quickly after a divorce or being widowed. Heck, my exH started dating his current wife just 9 months after we split, and a year before we finished our divorce. (Not that I think he’s any prize, but his wife must think he is).
I didn’t date anyone who was still hung up on an exW or unavailable for dating, but I did lose one to his old high school love, so dating is always a risk.
Yesterday I had my interview. It was a viedo interview, they happent o be my 2 supervisors currently at my per diem job. The interview actually went very well and was very positive. They said they do have alot of interest internally and externally, but hope ot be done with the interviews by weeks end. Who know what is going ot happen. But I am happy with the way it went. After that me and D's friends got ready for the big quinceanerra. Lots hair styling and make up for all of us. Wow, by baby looked like a beautoful adult! I did get some pdictures, and it meant alot to me, because we never get pictures together. I actually had a blast, It was at a beautiful venue and it was pretty much a wedding. Cocktail hour, open bar, DJ, dinner and dessert. They had ot have dropped a cool 20-30K on this event. ANd they have another daughter to go. Viedeograpers, photographers, the whole 9. I hung out with 2 of gabbys D's friends parents (2 sets of husbands and wives). ONe that I have been friends with forever and the other for a bit. We had a blast. Actually we all made plans to go to the music at the town lake tonight, but truth be told, I didn't get much sleep, had to work and I am tired. Even though I ahve serious FOMO, I just don't have the energy and sat this one out Oh, and D was sweet, the couples were taking pictures at the photo booth and I asked D if she would od the photo booth with me, fully expecting a "no mom" but she did. It made me so happy. The parents were talking about how we all felt fortunate they are such a good set of girls and that we always have comfort in the friends they are hanging out with. Honestly, and not biasedly, they are all quite stunning young ladies. But they don't even realize it. Just gorgeous but humble.
Today would have been my 18th wedding anniversary, They really don't count, since we only had 4, and we seperated before the 4th. I also doubt he even remebers that ti was our anniversary. Although I hear he keeps a wedding picture of us hiddend in a drawer. ANyways, on what would have been our anniversary, D, her friend, him and his wife left for their annual myrtle beach vacation. Ironic isn't it? She loves this annual trip and I hope she has a good time.
I pulled a msucle yesterday at the gym. I actually think I need to take a but of a rest, I have been going 3x week for these hardcore hour long classes and i have been lifting heavy. My body HURTS! I may be going on a bike ride tomorrow, a 20-30 mi one, but I think I can handle that. I am joining my frineds bike club chapter too. I repainted my old beat up TV console with electric fireplace. It looks brandnew! It's quite satisfying! I like having hobbies. I despise not having much time for them with my multiple jobs. I have ot sacrifice something always, then it stresses me out not getting what I need to get done.
Dating. Well, I have been thinking ALOT about it. 3 years ago M broke up with me, I haven;t had ay real connections or feelings since him, exvept for hockey guy. So I think that's why this one makes me so sad. I have went on so many dates since M. I have mostly felt dead inside. I went through my ho year, trying to fill some void but that didnt work I tried to talk myself into liking some guys. I also began to think that dating right now in this climate at this age is what it is. A bunch of people wanting no reald commitment and just sex. I almost told myself that this is the new norm, get used to it. Rarely did have I chatted with a guy who wants to date for real. All just busy professionals and parents whos "kids are their number one priority" ( I say that, because no sh!t). who just want to size a woman up as a sexual partner when it works for them. This is literally all I get. In some weird way, I must exude that? But i must have one of the most conservative online profiles out there for women. I jus tthought "this is what it is now, go with it or don't" But I am feeling demeaned. Online dating can very well be very demeaning. I worked with a coworker today who had just come back to work with us on the weekends. She said to me "Don't ever settle" and I did. I found myself mentally trying to settle. But I would I need to? I have provided for my own needs. I don't have any reason to settle.
I am sad I never got the partner experience. The raising my kid together experience. The extended family experience. The couples nights out and trips and get togethers. I have been waking up to an empty bed for most of the last 14 years. NO partner. I mourn I never had, It is absikutely a grief. I mourn for the times i Came close, but then got my dreams shot down. I can't go back and get any of this. My time has passed. And I really don't feel so hopefuly going forward about finding that one respectful geat person to go forward with at this stage. But I also know I won't settle.
That's enough of my wordiness. I made so many mistakes in my life. They ahve colored my today. None of them, however, were from bad intention or maliciouness. I still beat myself up sometimes and blame myself for where I am now. I am absilutely responsibile for a great deal of it and wrong decisions. I am just going to try to do better for myself everyday
So if A guy has a career/job, kids, friends, hobbies, gym etc his time is very limited. How do you know if he is just available when he wants sex or he’s just available when he has free time?
So if A guy has a career/job, kids, friends, hobbies, gym etc his time is very limited. How do you know if he is just available when he wants sex or he’s just available when he has free time?
We are all adults here with these responsibilities, right ? No different than me or you. The difference is the ones who compromise or make an effort to spend time vs. the ones who use expect you to fit into their schedule as if I just sit around here not having a life at all. I have a job and half, my kid majority of the time, hobbies, gym, a house to keep up. I don’t expect anyone to just fit into MY free time . If I really want to date, I compromise, make time, shift stuff around.
And the ones who mainly want sex certain my let me know. When you start off with “I have like no time except a Sunday around 4 pm and start talking about sexual preferences you just know
Seriously , most men I encounter seem to just want to date only if it fits perfectly into their schedule and aren’t mindful at all of the woman’s schedule as if I’m just sitting here twiddling my thumbs with tons of time on my hands . It’s actually infuriating . They only want what’s easy and convenient
