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She demonizes you because it’s easier to cheat on a monster than a good person.

This, once again, is DB gold. Sums up the vast majority of divorces.

Humans are incredible creatures. Supposedly the smartest species - we send people to the moon, into space, and develop the most amazing technology and science.

And yet beneath it all, we are susceptible to the dumbest of behaviours. Our flaw is that we are so driven by our own ego, we will do just about anything to justify [censored] behaviour - including demonizing our spouse.

LH19 and Steve are incredibly smart and experienced people with this stuff. I’m glad they’re helping you on your journey.

Regarding a power move - absolutely you should present her with divorce papers on her return. But not to win her back, or prove your point, or punish her for going away… do it for YOU. Because you’re a good person, who deserves someone great in your life. Divorcing a wayward or walk away is about taking the first big step to rebuilding your self worth. Trust me - I’d know!

It was the single best thing I did during my situation. It was the start of the rest of my life, and I did it with my head held high - knowing I’d tried EVERYTHING to honour my partner and try to keep my kid’s family together. My kids are MUCH happier now. I should have done it sooner.

Your boundary of PA was for YOU! Do you love and respect yourself enough to honour it?

Last edited by DnJ; 05/28/23 12:54 PM. Reason: Censored swear word.