This is your story. "I wanted my kids to live with both parents in a happy marriage, so badly, I did ______ to become a better partner and only gave up when she ______." Why are you standing? Have you given 180s your all? You could make a strong, self-respecting story either way. Your odds aren't good. May recovered after multiple PA encounters, but her XH was waffling after her 180s.
I'm with Steve that she'll almost certainly have sex on this trip. If this is a hard boundary--"Two strikes and you're out!"--another Vet, Ben, needed the evidence to walk away with a clean conscience. If that's you, consider hiring a Private Investigator to get the closure you want.
