The withdraw stage of my husband's crisis lasts 2.5 years(July 2014 - Dec. 2016), at first year, living with him was true torment but I never asked him to move out. Eventually he moved out by May 2015 and I learned and started to get a life of my own.
There was one whole year, we did not talk, we did not meet, few text only. He asked for time and space (according to him; I never gave him those and he felt painful living with me).
I came here, did a lot of study, there are many articles that I read again and again.
Currently, man in crisis has no ability to love anyone. So do not pay attention to what he said, what he is doing, the affair, the other woman.
Get a life, go to church. Let him go (just temporarily), soon, he will learn to face his own problem instead finding other people to be blamed to.
He reached me at end of 2016, I was always calm and friendly when I see him. He spent 4 years to settle down and last May, he moved home and stayed...
This is a marathon, I knew how difficult the process was, come here, vent and learn, there are many tools and great advice that you will find it useful during his crisis.
'you did not break him thus you can not fix him' I'll never forget this !
I second each and everything Babe said. And add to that that Babe is a saint and it worked out. But I think I was a bit of a saint and I realized that my MLCer actually had NPD all along and it didn't work out and never would. You have no way of knowing except the passage of time. So build a life you want for yourself and set a date in the future you will think about it again. Except for settling finances, try not to think about H whenever you can think about something else until that time.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
