Actually, embracing that R is unlikely and getting on board with the inevitable D is one of the great DBing motivators. In my own situation, one of the best things I did was consult with an attorney. I didn't tell her, I didn't broadcast it, I just got a free consultation for myself. It was eye-opening and destroyed all of the pie-in-the-sky quickie divorce stories she was feeding me. When there are minor kids involved there is no such thing as a quickie D in most jurisdictions.
But once you are resigned to the D, GAL, 180s and emotional detachment become easier to work towards and maintain. But as AS said, do not let it cause you to jump the gun.
Steve - it's funny you mention that because both W and I did our own lawyer consultations a couple months ago (separately of course) and even with the info she supposedly gained, W is not grounded in reality at all. One recurring pipe dream that would come up before I got wise and shut down R talks was that I would let her "have" the house for four years until S14 graduates, upon which time it would be sold. Never mind the fact that we still have two younger sons as well (I didn't say logic applied).
Yep, the WW fantasy bubble is strong. My W, like yours, wasn't ready to blow up peripheral relationships. Like the one with my mom, and sister, and mutual friends, and church members. In fact, sometimes I wonder if that is the only reason she stayed.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
