Mach- I will finish the Love Languages book and report back. I'm glad you clarified that I'm not to try to apply anything to my current MR.
In the meantime, do you have any nuggets of wisdom based on my responses below?
Originally Posted by Doug 54
Is it too late ?
___yes __X_no ---> I mean I guess it's not too late since no one has moved out or filed yet(?)
Has she moved on ?
_X__yes ___no ---> This answer would seem incongruent with what I marked for #1 above, but this is the vibe I really get. Plus, I really do not know WTF is going on with her phone and the EA...I stopped harping on it and decided to give her space, but she may well be at the point where she wants to feel the butterflies again (credit - LH19).
Is she in control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions ??
___yes _X__no
Does she get to write the ending of YOUR book ?
___yes __X_no
All of that is just the start of who you are becoming, and if you don't think this will and can change you, you are mistaken.
There is a way to do this that you will not become jaded toward your future, whether that is with your current spouse or not.
And it could possibly be, never say never...
Ultimately though, the OLD relationship is dead and gone....
Whatever happens in the future, will have to be a new relationship with newer version of the old person.
You will be changed, and she will be changed, hopefully to the better....
As far as butterflies ?
I don't think so, nor do I buy that theory.
WAS , I would say maybe...
Yet an MLCer is just trying to feel something, anything to help ease whatever emotional pain that they are in.
And much like finding an outfit for their first date when they were a teenager, they have to try everything on to see what fits....
So there becomes this huge pile of stuff laying all over the floor....
Not your mess to clean up, yet so many people get caught up in trying to help clean it...
Then eventually get angry because they can't help...
For you ? For now?
Nothing has to be cleaned, sorted, or moved.....
It doesn't have to be black OR white....there is a lot of gray area in your life....
And maybe not assume what she will or will not do for now.
I know that you think that you know her, and her tendencies, however you really don't.
You have no idea of what she really is capable of, because SHE has no idea of that either....
So just pay attention to her actions rather than her words....
Go about "Doug" business, and let her try on clothes...
