you don't need to know. when you need to know, you will.
Originally Posted by DnJ
And…feelings are fleeting. Temporary. I bet you feel different (hopefully better) today than on the 7th when you posted.
Dear B en DnJ, You are both completely right and your words really helped. No, I don't have to know. It did creep in again though which was kind of scary. Indeed, the term “setback” is kind of a negative word but I assume I must have these emotions in order to move forward again. FTR, I’m doing much better again.
With EXH being so different and kind these past weeks this certainly has raised my interest in him and his life and what is going on. It is the uncertainty that is the most difficult part for me. Since this platform is kind of my MLC diary I always want to share everything here. Sometimes I’m even a bit ashamed afterwards of what I typed at certain times, when I sometimes read it again some may think I’m a pendulum, just like the MLC'er, LOL, so thank you DnJ to re-assure that it is good to share everything here and to get the stuff out in the open.
I met with SIL yesterday. Undoubtably the R is going really difficult and they presumably broke up for a while but OW2 and EXH are still/back together and are trying once more. She will even be at a family party next Sunday. This is the 2nd time (last time in May) he brings her out in the open.
So DnJ, as you stated correctly, they go on vacation to the North and he bought her flowers.
Originally Posted by DnJ
His words are nice. How are his actions?
His actions are more present now and follow most of his words. As I wrote we had some issues with the sell of our home and he stepped in and took over. MIL also did something really bad to the children and he called the children to tell them he has their back. He also did a follow-up of S18 on my request.
Originally Posted by DnJ
In my opinion, yes he is. And he dives back in as well For what it’s worth, I think he will eventually find his way to healed and whole. G/XH displays and speaks with a lucidity and acceptance of what is going on with himself, something my XW does not (yet). The person that he will become is unknown. There are signs and headings he speaks about, and even displays (kids and such), which are positive indicators of forward progress. Still, it’s his path. And on his time. Awakening is slow too. Really slow. Like everything in this MLC process.
That is the most difficult part now. He is such a nice person at the moment. After we received the money of the sell of the house this week he asked me “are you happy”? I thought this was such a strange question and I refuse to lie so I answered honestly that “happy” is not a word a would use”. I’m happy that I’m through all of the administration, the move etc. but I’m not happy as this is not something I would have wanted to happen but that it is what it is. He answered me he also had a bad feeling when he picked up the furniture the last time and if he would have been present with the signing of the sell of the house he would have been sad as well. (he gave a power of attorney to me to sign in his place as he was "abroad", definitely running again since he could have been here but wouldn't want to face these feelings again) That nobody chooses to marry in the science to separate again but that he sees things positive now that at least we can’t have any more issues in relation to the administrative side of things. That his first priority now is to rebuild all the broken relationships from the past years and to pick up his life again where he left it years ago. I have answered that I’m glad he answered honestly and I validated his feelings and words. I’m quite convinced he is coming out of the tunnel and on his way to healing, no doubt about that but I always assumed that the OW’s are out of the picture by then, or do I see this wrongly?
Last day of work and tomorrow I’m leaving for Scotland. As said really looking forward to that, and B, I will definitely give you a full story of what the area is like!
