[quote=Ginger1]As far as me. I’m having a serious MLC over here. I’m really freaking out a bit. And I think it has to do with social media. I think I’m going to have to sign off. All I see are these big beautiful family vacations ! Brothers, sisters, cousins, beach, fun, and all around awesomeness. All I have ever wanted. I have like the reverse MLC. Married and family folk feel like they are missing out on single fun, and here I am feeling awful I missed out on the family life. And I know it’s too late for a lot of it. The parties, vacations, gatherings……. Really never had it in my childhood and never had it in my adulthood. I guess we all want what we don’t have. It’s an awfully lonely life for me .
This sounds like grief and it comes out alot in your posts. How much time have you spent really processing all the grief you have experienced?
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I also haven’t been such a great mom lately. I make far too many comments about my exes lifestyle every time my kid asks me to buy her something she wants or needs. And she is convinced her dad doesn’t have much money and only spends on vacation and that’s why. I asked her what I spend on. She says I don’t know. But dad is cheap everywhere else ( basically with her )
I truly believe you making the time and putting your XH feet to the fire with child support will really help with this on your end of things. You've been carrying too much for far too long... it's time you share the load.
That must be really hard on her... knowing that she's not important to him in certain ways. It probably plays a huge part on why she acts like nothing happened. My suggestion is to continue make space for HER in these moments when she does make these comments... and for you to find OTHER people to talk to about him.
I agree 100% ....
G...
You have to realize that even though they are tied together, what is going on is actually several layers of issues with this.
Protecting baby G..
The betrayal by him of you..
The betrayal by him of his marriage AGAIN...
The kind of person he has shown himself to be continually....
The kind of example of "what a man is supposed to be" that he is showing to Gabs...
Maybe take some time and realize what hill you are charging up, before you act on anything....
Realize where those thoughts are coming from and which one of you is thinking those thoughts.
Standing on the hill of Mama Bear, you are likely to say and think things that have been repressed for years now.
Standing on the hill of an LBS, you are likely to think and say different things....
Questioning the quality of person that you are, for choosing him in the first place....
Questioning that by J being him, what example is he showing to Gabs of the kind of Man that she will choose in her life.
So yea, step back and feel WHO you are in whatever comes up before you say or think things...
And it may take a conscious effort to do so until you can process this the way you need to...
That's a lot of hills girl....
And you've been so busy protecting her that you forgot that you have schidt to process too...
Burnt ?
Well yeah....you rarely take any time for you, and you run 100mph everywhere you go and in everything that you do....
So maybe take some time for just you when you are off....
