I have an interview tomorrow morning. A recruiter from a health system found my resume. He screened me, forwarded it and they wanted an interview with me . So tomorrow morning virtual. They asked what salary I’m shooting for and I gave one that would give me some comfort in my life. According to the recruiter it’s a little higher than what they are offering, but not that far out of the ballpark. I was honest and said I am happy where I work right now and it would take something like this for me to leave. The position is a stretch. It’s a regional director of case managers for a huge healthcare system that goes into other states. The hospital that would be my home base is in the town my D goes to school in. It’s seriously a long shot, I don’t know that my resume is impressive enough. We shall see.
Work has really been draining me, honestly. We keep getting more responsibilities on top of the ones that cause us yo work more than our salaried hours . I work way too much for free . I’m sick of working all the other additional hours I can get in my other jobs. Im tired. Im at wits end . I at least want compensation for what I do.
This weekend D dog sat for one of my coworkers . She stayed over and slept alone for the first time ever. She didn’t really it like it someone else’s house, but she did fine. I actually spent all Saturday with her there , we went to target, and out to our special dinner place. She’s babysitting at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow . Kid has champagne tastes in a beer budget so I’m happy she’s making a few bucks . She stared cheer coaching last week and really likes it. I’m happy to see her throw herself into something like this. She’s still living in this world like nothing ever happened with her dad. And there isn’t much I can do about it.
Me and the hickey player communicate every day. It will be over 3 weeks since we will have seen eachother when we finally do . But I have no anxiousness around it at all. I can’t be fine with us on any level unless I know he is taking care of what he needs . Our timing is pretty bad right now as far as seeing eachother. Moving is kind of huge with all these vacations. But we are cool with it. I feel relaxed. I don’t feel a need to keep him interested or close or be totally accommodating. So far with him, he might be the first guy I feel so comfortable being me. I don’t know what will happen. But I know I won’t regret anything .
As far as me. I’m having a serious MLC over here. I’m really freaking out a bit. And I think it has to do with social media. I think I’m going to have to sign off. All I see are these big beautiful family vacations ! Brothers, sisters, cousins, beach, fun, and all around awesomeness. All I have ever wanted. I have like the reverse MLC. Married and family folk feel like they are missing out on single fun, and here I am feeling awful I missed out on the family life. And I know it’s too late for a lot of it. The parties, vacations, gatherings……. Really never had it in my childhood and never had it in my adulthood. I guess we all want what we don’t have. It’s an awfully lonely life for me .
I also haven’t been such a great mom lately. I make far too many comments about my exes lifestyle every time my kid asks me to buy her something she wants or needs. And she is convinced her dad doesn’t have much money and only spends on vacation and that’s why. I asked her what I spend on. She says I don’t know. But dad is cheap everywhere else ( basically with her )
It’s not her problem though. And I am so frustrated I can’t stop with the comments. It’s can’t be good for hers so I have to start doing better. It’s my resolution for now .
We have this new hospitalist at work. And our wonderful , yet conservative, married , and professional and lovely director of hospitalists even says “ he’s really easy on the eyes, isn’t he?!?l “ and good lord, yes he is. He comes by office everyday to go over his cases with me and I become all awkward, lol. He’s probably 35 at best. And I think he needs to be set up with our other awesome single hospitalist his age. I’m working on it .
In a nutshell. I need more fun and less work. I’m burning out FAST! I even took a 3 hour ap today because I haven’t been sleeping properly. It’s just all too much, as usual.
