Something very detrimental to a marriage or partnership is keeping score. Keeping score focuses attention on the other, not on one's own behaviors. It's pretty hard to do any kind of personal growth if one is focused on the other.
OTOH, it's a great way to cultivate resentments when one is keeping score.
Put another way: how would you feel if your partner kept a tally on you?
It's easy to feel overwhelmed with an infant or tiny human. For something so itty bitty, it sure takes a lot of time and effort and energy to keep those wee ones thriving. The overwhelm is different for men and women from a purely biological perspective; it's not a pi$$ing contest of one person being more exhausted and overwhelmed than the other, or one doing more than the other.
The question is what do you do with it?
How important is the relationship to you? Can each of you separate out the very short term and real heavy duty lifting needed in the first years of a baby's life to see the long term for this relationship?
Many years ago I heard this: every time you point the finger at someone else, three are coming back at you.
Look at yourself, your own behavior.
What about this triggers you?
What about this can you change?
As counter-intuitive as it sounds, dig deeper - for patience, for understanding, for compassion for both your partner and yourself.
Lead with love and see what happens.
Just some suggestions.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
