IW.....I have asked that same question a couple times myself....
To summerize....
My wife did this so I did this...
My wife did this so I did that....
It's early still though....
Hopefully he can see how much focus is on her instead of himself....
I also did an in-home thing, for two and a half years....
Aloof, yet available, was my way....
Yes, very much the same here. I forget the poster here who gave me this advice
"The reason you are so tired is because you are fighting everything that is happening. It's happening anyway - stop fighting it."
It changed my whole outlook on everything. So I let it all go. Hardest thing to do, but you not if you take it one day at a time.
Originally Posted by Doug54
That is insane, dude. I cannot imagine. Would you mind sharing any details about how that came to be? I mean, I'm glad you stated things are cordial and friendly, but...ugh. That sounds like hell on earth, especially given LH19's assurances that we will all feel better once limbo is over (meaning divorce a lot of the time, but yeah...). I also miss the companionship aspect of being married and doing things together, which has fallen by the wayside for me.
To your question - what do I want to do? I stated earlier in the thread that I hoped to better myself, be a good and present father, and make changes that would benefit me in my next relationship. I just don't see W emerging from this MLC any time soon, or ever settling for not seeing if the grass is greener on the other side. Right now I'm resigned to the status quo for a while, unless W suddenly rents an apartment. Stated today, I don't plan to be the one to file or break anything that can't be put back together again (figuratively).
That's more or less where I am. I welcome your thoughts.
Doug -
First figure out what you want to do. Stand or no?
Then you make that decision again tomorrow.
Then the next day.
And the next. And the next. Etc.
And that's how you get to 4 years.
I'm not saying that will be what happens with you. Every person is different every relationship has different dynamics. You have kids, I don't Etc etc.
If I was you i would stop thinking about years from now and start re-reading the golden advice these vets are giving you. Take a breath. S isn't leaving soon, you said yourself. I would slow down and use the time to work on yourself. You can't use logic / your brain to solve your MR if your S wants out. So use it for something else.
And listen to LH he's also helped me tons.
As far as limbo being over, well life is limbo. Unless you get a memory wipe I don't see you ever not feeling something for an ex at some point down the road.
