I think caving is the perfect word. You were insistent that you were done with MC......then you went.
I do like what you said about your W being conflicted. She is conflicted about what she wants vs. the cost. But that she doesn't want to be with you is in cement. Very good self-awareness and awareness of reality there, so kudos.
My biggest concern I am seeing (180 opportunity) is that you want to be patted on the back for doing everything right, even when you do something that is against advice. THis is your situation, not ours. So do what you want, what you feel is right, and if we don't like it we will let you know, but that is what we are here from. But do not take it personally. All of the feedback and advice is from a place of wanting to help. I can't speak for everyone that posts on this forum, but I certainly take no personal joy out of 2x4ing someone. But I know in my own situation that the 2x4s, in hindsight, were more helpful than the attaboys.
I don't think I'm looking for a pat on the back so much as seeking feedback from the board members on the update I posted. Perhaps the "flawless victory" attempt to add levity rather came off as too much mustard instead. But to your point, 2x4's are perfectly valid when warranted. That's probably the whole point of the board - to be a place where neophytes to these circumstances can see the advice and input of veterans who have been there before.
I appreciate your comments, of course, and particularly the addendum that only I can be the one to address my particular situation. DR talks about trying different responses and actions to see what works, and discard or continue correspondingly. Honestly, I don't know if there's a perfect strategy out there for me at this point, other than "doing me," improving myself, and detaching as much as possible...to the extent possible short of separate living arrangements.
