I was in a nice, carefree mood myself. We shared a moment of flirtatious talk before I had to leave for something and she said, "I'm conflicted and you're basically like 'Peace out!'"
Originally Posted by LH19
WW BS. Hope you didn't respond.
Originally Posted by Traveler
Yes! Good job not reading too much into this. You showed strength which is attractive and shot down her fantasy plans of moving out or nesting. WAS are not robots, and she probably is slightly more conflicted now. How did you reply? Hopefully, you didn't reassure her.
Originally Posted by Mach1
Most in crisis will try and talk them self into their arrangement. They will try to convince them self that "their" truth is THE truth....
Kinda like......we tend to work toward our goals.....
I'd prolly just say....'Those aren't my words' and leave it at that......
Let your actions speak for now....
Go back to the space shuttle analogy....
She is gonna find fuel my friend.....
Ok, so it's funny everyone seized upon this exchange. As much as I post for affirmation or condemnation or advice as a newbie on this forum, I don't need much help on this one (for once). Here's the deal: W absolutely is conflicted...but not about whether she wants to bask in the glory of Doug in the marriage. Her internal conflict is about breaking up the family and the collateral damage that divorce would bring in all its elements - financial, emotional, physical. I saw countless texts to friends where W expressed worry about regretting splitting up or doubting that she had the courage to go through with a D (back when I did snoop around, which I've since stopped for my own sanity).
Now, does that mean it won't happen? Of course not. If you asked me today, I'd probably predict an LH19-style year of treading water in a dead marriage, with a possible filing next summer. That would be contingent on an in-home separation. Absent that, maybe separation would happen next summer in the form of someone getting an apartment. Or, something falls into her lap and she leaves next week. Or, maybe the house will catch fire and I'll rescue her, and she'll realize she still loves me.
Aside from the last scenario, the outlook is basically blah. I feel like Leo in Titanic when they're climbing up the bow of the ship to what would be the last place above water. The only silver lining is that W pretty much knows by now that I. Am. Not. Moving. Out. I mean, that's been hammered home. And she's not acting miffed towards me today at all, even after yesterday's counseling session. Just now she sought me out to ask if I liked her nails. She could easily make life in the house shytty for me and close up the nookie shop as well, but there's no indication that's imminent. I know there are mixed thoughts on that but I'm content to ride it out (also in LH19-style...I guess I am learning at the heels of a great master).
As to my response to W saying she's conflicted and I'm like Peace out...I simply said "Right. Well, I gotta go pick up (S14)." And with that, I walked out of the house to my car. Flawless victory.
