Look what the Cat dragged in.....Literally

[Drew]

vi et honore

As you know I went with Virtus y Honos.

And here's to the Pirate!!

And perhaps a little Dignity, and Grace too..

How is our friend Grace? Haven't talked to her in eons ....

[bttrfly]

yw. no thx necessary. xo

[Grace_OM]

Hey Dude, they let me back in! Mwahahahahahahah

Woke the other morning to finding out that K's insurance money hit my account....

I hadn't thought of how that would affect me, or how deeply I would 'feel' that when it happened.

I felt cheap, and dirty with it. Like it was 'blood' money of sorts.

I am sorry these feelings about this felt bad, even for the flash of a single thought.

And I'm finally at a point where I am embracing that this is her, trying to be there for me in the only way that is left. Some financial help , regardless how 'final' it feels. This is the last 'material' thing that she will ever leave me....

Exactly what she did. She had choices about what to do here, and she chose to care for you in the only way left available to her. After all, that's what partners do. While it may be the last "thing" she will leave you, in comparison to all she gave, well...

Do I hear the sound of guilt? I hope not, but it wouldn't be unexpected.

So, how's the breathing going today?

[Cadet]

Hey Dude, they let me back in! Mwahahahahahahah

YAY - perhaps I did not fail in my mission.

[Mach1]

Hey Dude, they let me back in! Mwahahahahahahah

Woke the other morning to finding out that K's insurance money hit my account....

I hadn't thought of how that would affect me, or how deeply I would 'feel' that when it happened.

I felt cheap, and dirty with it. Like it was 'blood' money of sorts.

I am sorry these feelings about this felt bad, even for the flash of a single thought.

And I'm finally at a point where I am embracing that this is her, trying to be there for me in the only way that is left. Some financial help , regardless how 'final' it feels. This is the last 'material' thing that she will ever leave me....

Exactly what she did. She had choices about what to do here, and she chose to care for you in the only way left available to her. After all, that's what partners do. While it may be the last "thing" she will leave you, in comparison to all she gave, well...

Do I hear the sound of guilt? I hope not, but it wouldn't be unexpected.

So, how's the breathing going today?

I hear the sound of Rum being poured.....????


Grace with a dirty face !!!

OMG, I have missed you my sweets....




Breathing ? Yea, mostly.

A lot of just 'existing'...


Guilt ? I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel some guilt. Although where that's coming from varies on any given day.

There seem to be so many layers to it....

I smile or laugh, then feel guilty...

I do something for myself....I feel guilty...

I get the money, I feel guilty...

I spend a few $$....what do I feel ? Yep....

I'm pretty sure it's normal, either that or I'm more f'ed up than I thought I was....

Could be both ??

Working through this just takes time I suppose....

And I've had more ups and downs than a VIP pass at a Motley Crue concert....sigh


I'm finally starting to feel better, head isn't stopped up as much...

I'm sure that has had some impact too....

in comparison to all she gave, well...

Perspective huh ?

You know her...you know me....

You don't know how much that means.....





How are you doing ?

The girls ?

Dogs ??


I think Drew is around somewhere too....lurking in the shadows, waiting to drop his singular word of bulleted advice : )




Rum and smooches my love.....and it is soooooooo good to 'see' you...

[Cadet]

This is the last 'material' thing that she will ever leave me.....

Maybe - but their will be lots of things that she left us all, that we might even read here, and remember that she wrote them.

[Grace_OM]

Cadet,

The mission was a success. Thank you for your help!

[Drew]

I think Drew is around somewhere too....lurking in the shadows, waiting to drop his singular word of bulleted advice : )

Grace!!!!

[Grace_OM]

Rum, me?? I'm sure it's bad witch o'clock

Guilt is a weird one. I was taught (not that it stuck) that guilt was ONLY to be considered and acted upon if I had done something wrong. I know there are a lot of woulda, coulda, shouldas after someone is gone. I have zero doubts you did the best you possibly could in any given moment.

Does that mean you always got it right? Nope. What else can we truly ask of ourselves except to do the best we know how?

I'm pretty sure it's normal, either that or I'm more f'ed up than I thought I was....

Could be both ??

Well, I'm in the camp of it's normal, BUT we need to tread carefully so that we don't beat ourselves to death with a 6x6 we shouldn't even have in our hands. I kinda like the scenario where K takes that beam and clocks you with it when you DON'T laugh, smile and do for you.

And I've had more ups and downs than a VIP pass at a Motley Crue concert....sigh

Great reference! LMAO

I am good and I can't complain...but sometimes I still do (ah, Joe Walsh). The girls are all growed up and doing well too. We are teaching the doggos to sing (aren't you glad you're not my neighbor??) and they are always a hoot.

I take the rum and smooches and raise you a hug.

And Drew....Hey

[Mach1]

I think Drew is around somewhere too....lurking in the shadows, waiting to drop his singular word of bulleted advice : )

Grace!!!!

Wordy today ?

: )