Wolfman moving forward 3

[Wolfman]

Hey Wolf! Been a month since we heard from you. I hope when you report back you'll have some positive news--e.g., you kept those weekly dates going and her heart is melting. Whatever the case, I hope you and your son are doing okay.

THanks for checking up on me. It’s been up and down. She dropped the whole child support thing. She never really felt comfortable with putting the baby in any day care. So, she didn’t pursue the flying job. Things are up and down. I just feel she is very immature and makes small little things into big problems. Yesterday I bbq chicken and burgers. GF went to a baby shower the other day and brought home some food. One of the things being Mac and cheese. My son loves that. So yesterday we were eating dinner all 4 of us. My s ate a little Mac and cheese and a burger. That was it. My son finished gave me a hug and said thanks. And went to the living room. GF replied that was Interesting. I said what was? Her reply, “he said thank you to you and not me.” I said well it because I bbq and he ate the burger. She said, well he had Mac and cheese and I brought that home for him. I said I know that but he didn’t know that. She says, he never says thank you to me. She said well I seasoned the chicken. I said I know but he didn’t eat the chicken. She goes this is what I mean I am not appreciated. I said he says thank you a lot. Her reply, he barely says it and doesn’t appreciate the things I do for him. My next response probably not the best, but I am getting fed up. She just looks for reasons to attack my son. I said are you just looking for an argument. She stormed off and left me with the baby. She went in the bedroom and closed the door.

My question to everyone is this. My s is 12. She expects him to say thank you for every little thing she does. Granted I speak to him because he should. Like when she does his laundry, she wants him to come to her and say thank you. Every night for dinner, when she cooks. To me, what 12 boy is going to do that. Her expectations are in my opinion ridiculous. If once and a while he doesn’t say it does that mean we need to get into an argument? Are my expectations too low or are here too high? I think about my friends kids, they don’t say thank you for every little thing?

The other thing is, I am tired of how she wants me to respond. She has a complaint which is often I am just supposed to say ok. Even if I think she is wrong or it is a mistake. The double standard too. She can do something, but if I do the same thing it’s a problem. I am getting fed up. It just has to be her way. Oh and she just told me she is not emotionally there. One of the contributing factors is the crazy ex and my s. She brings up how my situation causes her a lot of unnecessary stress. It’s like she wants me to get rid of my s, and then we wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.
I work 2 jobs, we are financially tight, the minute I get home I take the baby, I help clean, I do most of the cooking in the summer (bbq). For her birthday I surprised her with a trip at the end of the summer to her country to see her family, even though money is really tight. I feel like I am in another relationship where what I do is not enough. Like I am supposed to me a submissive man and just bow down to these women. Which is not me and never will be.