I would say that YOU have some decisions to make then.....
You are torn....
That's fairly normal this early on...
What if I would guarantee that she would come back ?
What if I would tell you that she just has some steam to blow off and she will be home by November ???
You would do that....right ?
Just to be clear, no one has left the house yet and we're still sleeping in the same bed, looking like a regular all-American family to our neighbors. But the writing is on the wall with W wanting out, dreaming of greener pastures. Will she pull the trigger? We'll see.
Originally Posted by Mach1
What if, I told you that you would walk through hell with gasoline shorts on, not knowing if you would ever get another chance at a relationship with her...
Go about YOUR business, do the hard internal work of making yourself a better person, just living your life for you and your kiddos....
That makes the choice harder....yes ?
One of those options is "for better"
One of those options is "for worse"
You did promise both didn't you ?
That's true, but as I alluded to in my first post, I don't know the depth and scope of this emotional affair that happened and/or continues to happen. The MLC "journey" in and of itself is easier to stomach than your spouse having an inappropriate outlet with someone else that supersedes the marriage. A lot unanswered...I have to make my peace with it or move on.
Originally Posted by Mach1
Standing for your marriage is your choice....
You get to make that choice every freakin morning when you wake up...
But you kinda should choose one or the other...
You can't ride two horses with one a$s....
Halfway doing this isn't either answer...
And not to bash you in the head or anything....
But 18 years, and 5 children....
I would think that she deserves a little more than a few months to figure it out...
Maybe ?
Figure it out? Sure. Fish around for other men? Nah. Which of the two is going on? I feel like I'm eating a shyt sandwich. My default mode is giving her space and getting my @ss outta the house. Every moment isn't bad but it still feels a little like purgatory.
Originally Posted by Mach1
Once a person finds them self here, the majority of the time, the Marriage that you once knew is already gone. It will be no more. And anything down the road will have to rebuilt from the ashes of that. Hopefully with a new set of skills, appreciation, and commitment from both of you.
And would you really want the same marriage back ?
That's fine. Sign me up for it. I could handle Marriage 2.0, featuring the refurbished Doug...validating feelings and sucking the marrow out of life.
Originally Posted by Mach1
Somewhere around here, Cadet has some reading material lists....???
Codependent no more....
Journey from abandonment to healing
No more Mr. nice guy
The 5 love languages...
Those were a few that I read during this.....
Good titles. I will look into the ones I haven't read yet; thanks.
