Between your post and LH19’s, I’m starting to see a template for how my situation may play out.
Those are certainly possible--trying to stand is no guarantee of reconciliation. Study the situations of members who got to reconciliation as well if that's your goal. What worked? What didn't?
Originally Posted by Doug54
She has a decent existence now with me more or less enabling her to eat cake
Originally Posted by PuppyDogTails
To me, "cake-eating" is when a wayward spouse gets some of their physical and emotional needs met by their OW/OM, while some of their other emotional, sometimes physical, and usually financial needs are being met by their betrayed spouse, without condition or consequence. When this condition is reached, there is really no incentive for the adulterous spouse to stop their infidelity, because they are "having their cake, and eating it, too."
<Some> are just plain "afraid to make her/him mad," and are not really feeling good at all about what's being done to them.
It's helpful to consider what cake eating is. The above's a decent working definition. Consider all the ways you allow cake-eating, especially where you're nicing her instead of getting a fair trade.
