• I did my best to be the kind of wife and mother my XH needed/wanted
• I realize now that I felt I wasn’t enough for him, and that I didn’t do enough
• I realize now that I was never going to be “enough” for him, or do “enough” for him
• I am proud of the way I treated my XH and the ways I tried to show my love and support and partnership in my MR
• I realize now that I WAS ENOUGH
• I realize now that his affair and his treatment of me was not because of who I am/was
• I realize now it was my responsibility to do my part in the marriage, and it was his responsibility to do his part
• I realize now that he chose NOT to do his part, and that’s on him
Throughout my journey, I had felt so much shame. It feels good to be able to take responsibility for my parts (I’m not perfect and I wasn’t perfect) and let go of the parts that were never mine to own. When you are deep in crisis, it’s so hard to see things clearly enough to process them. But, newbies, as you move forward on your journey’s, you will see things so much more clearly. And when emotions settle you can process the experiences more clearly. Better days are ahead! Keep moving forward, growing, and most importantly, be forgiving of yourself along the way!
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
