I cannot stop sobbing. I have reached out to an online therapist service as there is none where I live. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. He cried at our wedding just five years ago. Just months ago he was telling me he loved me. My heart is utterly, utterly broken and I feel so alone. Unfortunately where I live, I have very few friends as we are both expats living in a foreign country. I wish I could stop crying.
Reeling, the best advice I have seen for the emotions is to let them come. Feel them. Go through them. Mourning is not something that we should try to shortcut. You are going through a trauma of loss, it is expected that you will be sad. Please read the sticky thread on this forum "You Will Not Die".
I also commend you for reaching out to a therapist. IC is one of the best steps you can take right now!
And what I can tell you, is that it does get better. You will get through this. Like I said before, in an imperfect world we can lose someone a myriad of ways! Some of them more permanent than others. We have to find our strength to mourn, but then to move forward. You can do this!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
