Nesting - I considered it at first but realized pretty quick it is not the way the go. I think part of it is just delaying the inevitable to an extent. Don't agree to it. She can move out if she wants space. Don't move out. Stay in the MB come hell or high water during the IHS. And hell may come knocking. Don't leave man.
MC - stop going. It's not going to help right now. Tell W you don't think it will help right now if she wants to know why you decline. Leave it at that. No R talks. STFU.
IC - keep going. I would not be talking to your W about what is discussed in IC or that you are even going to IC. It's for you, not her. STFU.
Your W has been in an EA/PA for a year or longer. You don't think you caught it on Day 1 right? First evidence November '21 means it started much earlier in all likelihood. Still going strong you say?
About getting caught up in the "I'm not going to be the one to end the MR/file D/etc." syndrome. Look I get this is a DB site. Maybe some feel better years later, being able to say "hey I wasn't the one to end it..." "I was the one who tried..." I get it. I didn't file. There was no EA/PA as far as I knew and I was digging. I had a WAW. It took her about 5 months to file after BD. She said several times "we need to file" and I said I wasn't filing anything, go ahead and file if you want. I moved at my pace during the whole process. I've got my thoughts re filing in an EA/PA sitch but they wouldn't exactly be in line with DBing per se.
Strength is mental toughness and emotional control. Establishing and enforcing boundaries. Having a plan and executing. Being decisive. Not accepting less than what you believe you deserve or want. Self-evaluating and improving where necessary. Answering the call to adventure. It is defined by your actions in every instance in life you encounter.
Read Sandi's Rules. It's a long list I know. Look, what can really help you achieve or comply with them, at least significantly, is to focus on one thing - GAL. As Steve would say, you are "BUSY BUSY BUSY". If you are in full-on GAL mode, you will not have much time with or exposure to W to torpedo yourself with self-inflicted Rule violations. But remember GAL is for YOU. So are 180's. These changes are not to win W back and if you have that mindset she is likely to sniff it out quick. If you have the mindset of "showing off" your 180's or GAL to the W, she'll probably know it's just tactics. You truly have to do these things for YOU and NGAF whether she even notices. You can't be looking to her for approval of what the New Doug is doing. There is much hand-wringing about "but if we're not living together how will she ever see my 180's!!??" You have to get to the place where you don't care. You're working on you, not her.
I see you've got some stuff about a joint checking acct., boob job, who gets the house, etc. You have got to get with a L and get a game plan together. How do you define yourself? Would you say you are pretty intelligent? Smart guys get with a L and game plan based on the law and the details of their sitch. Get two steps ahead of W , don't be lagging my friend.
