Interesting. Would you mind sharing what those two and a half years were like? Was it a SSM? Was it torture being around her?
So the two and a half years was brutal when I thought I could control the outcome. Meaning 180s to show her I had changed in areas I thought I had slacked in. Once I accepted I couldn't change her mind it wasn't that bad. Nah we actually had sex up until 6 days before she left. As far a WWs go she wasn't that bad to be around. I don't think she hates/hated me she just wanted to feel the butterflies again. At least that is what she told me.
Doug I am not going to lie your W has check out and will probably not be checking back in anytime soon. Either way you will survive and your life will be 10,000 times better than it is at this moment.
Thanks, LH19. I really appreciate your input, especially in light of the similarities I can identify between your situation and mine. Do you happen to have a thread detailing how things transpired for you?
I notice in your signature you’ve been married 16 years. Is that to your second W? Did your 2.5 years of limbo occur in the 1990’s?
When things first began unfolding (more like unraveling) for me, before I had read DR or came to this board, I would use daily interactions with the W and things like frequency of sex to say to myself, “Hey- we’re knocking boots with gusto! How bad can things be?” Obviously it helps situate things for me to read your account, that the sex was there but the die had already been cast.
Did you & your ex-wife realize things were going to drag for as long as they did, or is that just how it wound up happening? Were there kids in the household? Did she pressure you to be the one to move out?
