Is it a MLC or??

[Reeling]

Thank you for your response, Newborn. I honestly don't know if DB offer coaches anymore - I was referred to Joann after I emailed Michele to ask about coaching.

Joann is great, very enthusiastic and lifts me up when I'm in the pit of despair. I haven't spoken to her for some time now as I did a 180/doing something different/shock and awe by jetting off to NYC without telling my husband. Not sure it had any effect, but he was also out of the country visiting his family so there was very little contact between us. For that reason, I didn't see the point in talking to Joann.

However, now that I am trying to resume contact/meetings with my husband, I need her guidance.

I'm so conflicted and the advice online and from friends is so contradictory. In some places, I read that I should go dark/no contact (particularly as I instigate 99% of our contact). In other places, I read that no contact might work for more casual "dating" type relationships, but not to fix a marriage, where the focus should be on restoring good communication. But what if I'm the only one instigating that communication?

At the same time, I don't want to look back on this time years from now and wish I'd just stopped spending so much time waiting waiting waiting for things to change and my husband to come back. I worry that I will regret not just sitting him down and trying to get him to agree to marriage coaching with me - even if he doesn't move back home straight away. Sometimes I feel his mind is made up, at other times I can sense real conflict within him. It's that sense of internal conflict in him that gives me hope but am I imagining it...