My rocking chair wasn't stolen. It was smashed into kindling, had gasoline poured on it and was lit on fire, while on the porch. There it is, smoking rubble for today's trash removal.
Jesus.
sorry kids, but I tell the truth.
and you know what? it's ok. it really is. i'd rather throw out the trash than live with the illusion or the ticking time bomb. After something that cataclysmic happens, you change. Your viewpoint on these things becomes forever altered.
there were times in the 26 years of my marriage/relationship which were amazing, and for which I have deep gratitude.
What I'm probably most grateful for is today, being alone and out of that relationship.
Doesn't mean there's no hope for the future; simply means I'm not seeking anything so I'll be pleasantly surprised if something happens someday.
But I absolutely don't want today to be someday. I'm already on overload.
BF I get it. I just wish you wouldn't give your exh so much power over your life.
Here's where I wish we could sit down, the lot of us, around a fire pit or over some iced coffee or adult beverages for those who indulge, and really talk, because tone is lost in the written word.
When I said what I said about the rocking chair, LH, believe me, I am simply telling the truth about what he did. There are ways to leave a marriage that keep respect and dignity on the table and then there are ... other choices. This has zero to do with his affair, or with 2.0/Vista. This is about how he deliberately went out of his way to inflict as much emotional abuse on me as possible during our mediation process and then after our divorce became final. He admitted it, said there was nothing wrong with it, and that anyone who got in the way of his exacting revenge was merely collateral damage. Our son, collateral damage. Kind of hard to misinterpret a statement like that. That's what I mean when I say he gleefully smashed the rocking chair, poured gasoline on it, lit it on fire and danced on the ashes. I'm merely stating a fact, like saying he's over 6' and has hazel eyes.
That statement no longer has the power it had when he first said it. Now, it's just who he is. Maybe it's who he always was. Maybe not. But it's who he's become and that's not someone I want in my sphere.
I'm not putting myself out there as you say, LH, for a lot of other reasons which have nothing to do with getting burned in my marriage. It's a time thing and right now I don't have any time. The really limited free time I do have I'd rather spend with my friends. Of course if I met someone compelling, that could change pretty quickly, but I'm not looking. And Craig Ferguson is very happily married, so ...
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
