Take this with a grain of salt. Because we all know my dating track record stinks and it is the consensus here I make poor dating decisions. However….
We all come out of this with scars and issues. It’s how we recognize them, what we learn from them etc. no one has these issues perfectly worked through . And if people didn’t date until they were, we would probably never date. Unless those issues have the capability of hurting a dating partner , then , well, I agree with your IC. She probably sees more of fears , rather than issues you need to work through on the dating front . The 2 can be confused often. And the best thing to do for our fears is work through them .
We are middle aged folk here who have been through the ringer. I would majority of us have done some pretty good self work. None of us will be perfect and completely ready to date. As long as we don’t see ourselves in a place where we will likely hurt someone else or ourselves, it’s a fine time to try it again .
That’s my 2 cents, not the popular opinion here. But another viewpoint to consider
Sometimes we can only work on relationship issues in a relationship because we don't know they exist until those circumstances trigger something. This is true.
Launching one more person into the dating pool who hasn't yet healed enough is why many of the posters here have something to complain about in online dating/meetups/etc.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
