Is it a MLC or??

[BL42]

Reeling,

One thing I must say up front is there is no other woman. 100% on that.

As others have mentioned, brace yourself for the likelihood there is another party involved. Whether the percentage is 80 or 99, the point is in the vast majority of cases here it ends up coming to light at some point that the spouse leaving is/was having an affair...even when the LBS swears up and down it's not possible.

The night he left me, he told me he feels he only has twenty-something years left of life and that he's not happy and doesn't want to spend the rest of his life unhappy.

It's very possible he was unhappy. Most people leaving are trying to find happiness, and don't realize happiness comes from within and other people/things can't make them happy in the long run.

It's all my fault apparently - I was nagging, critical, he couldn't do anything etc.

I mention that to explain that our relationship had become a parent/child one as my husband could not be trusted to remember any important tasks. I guess to him, that was me nagging - I'm sure it was, but feel I had good reason. Now of course, I wish I'd done things differently.

Certainly examine what you can do better / change about yourself, but also don't let his story define you - many times it's about the WS/WAS, not the LBS.

We occasionally talk and see other each rarely.

Do you know where he's living?

We have no kids, just a dog and two cats.

Not to make light of your situation, because I know it's difficult, but in many ways no kids is going to make this much easier.

I occasionally send him photos of the animals and he tells me he misses them.

Stop sending him photos.

He still wears his wedding ring but is adamant the marriage is over on the couple of occasions I've asked if we could please try to fix things (I know...)

You've asked. Now stop asking. If he wants to reconcile he knows where to find you.

What really scares me is that he keeps talking about looking for a new job overseas. I know divorce busting calls for patience but I'm so scared I'll lose him if he moves country before I've had a chance to put any plan into action.

You need to find a way to drop your fear. With fear you'll beg and plead and ask him to reconsider and he'll know you're weak and on the hook. Without fear you'll be confident knowing you're going to have a good life whether he's a part of it or not, and that's more attractive. Ask yourself what's the worst that can happen? He moves away and you get divorced. I know that sounds awful now - and I certainly don't wish it upon anyone - but you WILL be alright regardless. When you look back on this in a year or two you'll realize how far you've come and not be fearful of the future anymore.

At our lunch meeting later today, I was planning on asking if he'd agree to regular weekly meet-ups just as a way to "stay friends" - otherwise I never know when or if I'll see him, which makes putting any strategy into play very difficult. Is it wise to ask that?

How did lunch go?